You can have your analogy and eat it too

Last night I developed an analogy for operating systems based on Cake, everybody likes cake, right?

First I begin with the Microsoft cake shop. From the Microsoft cake shop you can purchase the Microsoft Cake XP™. Whilst you don’t know what ingredients are in Microsoft Cake XP™ or how Microsoft Cake XP™ was made you find that after Icing Pack 2 was applied to Microsoft Cake XP™ it is quiet a good product. Microsoft Cake XP™ comes in one flavour but three sizes Microsoft Cake XP™ home, Microsoft Cake XP™ Media Centre Edition and Microsoft Cake XP™ Professional. Microsoft Cake XP™ is also Quiet Pricey at $350 per cake.

Now onto Linux Cake. You can buy Linux Cake pre-made but it’s generally harder to get a hold of. This is due to the recipe for Linux Cake being available for free, you still need the ingredients but the recipe is free. This means that you as the “eater” have to make or get made for you, the cake itself. This ensures that you know the quality of the Cake and what ingredients comprise the Cakes composition. Linux Cake comes in all flavours and sizes as well as being able to make your own flavour of Linux Cake.

Finally Apple Cake ™, Apple Cake X™ is cheaper then Microsoft Cake XP™ at only $200 per cake but the real kicker is that Apple Cake X™ can only be eaten from an official Apple™ bowl, using an official Apple™ spoon and can only be topped with officially sanctioned Apple™ cream. The Cake is quiet cheap but you pay through the nose for the hardware to support it. Apple Cake X™ only comes in one flavour and one size and while you can see some of what’s in Apple Cake X™ you can’t make it yourself nor can you have any other flavour.

X-ray vision,

I for one can say that I don't want X-ray Vision. There are so many other forms of vision that are so much better.

Such as:
Magnetic Resonance Vision: Ha, I just looked at your crotch and now you're infertile.
Gamma-Rays Vision: Stare people into a radioactive crisp
or
Infra-red vision: not so cool, unless you're stoned.

RTTR

Real Time Tank Rushing.

I purchased a copy of Command and Conquer 3 several weeks ago and upon playing the game in some depth found myself disgusted with the fact it was advertised as a "Real Time Strategy" game. Pretty much the only strategy available to the player is to build as many tanks as possible and throw them towards the enemy base hoping to do enough damage that he cant rebuild before rinsing and repeating. If the player were to attempt any other kind of strategy such as aerial domination and bombardment, stealth elimination of key targets or just plain old artillery siege the player would quickly find that in the time it took to build and array such forces the AI would have built 20 cheap tanks and be having its way with your base.

Maybe I'm turning into a strategy snob after being spoilt with Supreme Commander and Galactic Civilizations II but one would expect that a "real time strategy" game would permit more than one strategy.

My other major problem is with over-powered super weapons. If you can put up with the monotony of constant tank rushes long enough to build one of the games super weapons you can effectively eliminate their entire base in one shot. Generals more or less proved that overpowering super weapons was a quick way to suck the fun out of the game. A super weapon should allow you to take out one or two structures or a large group of units whilst leaving the structures intact. This is how the original C&C games worked. Also the game runs way too fast, 3 seconds to build an entire infantry platoon, 7 second for a tank. Resource problems are virtually eliminated as you get so much from one load to Tiberium that you don't need to bother fighting over resources. For comparison, in C&C 1, you would get 700 from each harvester which took about 15 to 30 seconds, in C&C 3 you get 2000 from each harvester every 10 to 15 seconds which means you don't need to conserve resources and make careful purchases.

It's only saving grace were the FMV (Video) sequences. Whist the C&C series had notoriously (and deliberately) cheesy B grade video sequences these were a new level of cheese entirely. I'll begin with the GDI video's, Michael Ironside and Billy Dee Williams were over-acting way too much, even for a B grade extravaganza like C&C, Grace Park was not even acting at all, was she told to just stand there and speak, I mean what were they thinking. The NOD side was better but I will begin with Tricia Helfer's performance, It was the same quality as her performance on Battlestar Galactica, in fact I would say it was pretty much exactly like her performance on BSG, did EA save money on not bothering to write a new character. Joseph Kucan's played Kane well and I think this is the first time in the C&C series where Kane actually gets angry. Josh Holloway was also pretty good in the films, despite having a Serbian character with a drawl one normally associates with the South of the United states, although I haven't seen Lost so I have no material for comparison.

I was exited to get a new C&C game when it was first announced last year but in the first few hours of its release I was only reassured in Electronic Arts ability to screw up a perfectly good idea. I did get value out of the few hours of video on the DVD I didn't get AU$90 worth of value,

EA, I want 45 dollars back

You can add it to the $25 you owe me for C&C renegade.

The name change

I've decided to change the name of my blog as "the Hindenburg effect" was already taken.

Blog added to Firefox dictionary.

Firefox added to Firefox dictionary.

Pro Virtus odio bardus

I was on the bus the other day, an uncouth teenager who looked like a cross between a skinhead and a vegan bounded on just as the doors were closing. after the usual exchange of money for passage the bus began to disembark. As this was happening the uncouth teen began to speak in a rather exited tone with a rather dull voice "there's someone running for the bus", "driver, there's someone running for the bus". The driver continued to turn unfazed by this turn of events I fully expected the youth in question to take a seat as any normal person would not have bothered notifying the driver of such events.

But he did not.

the youth continued to petition the driver 'but sir, there's someone running for the bus. But this point we were around the corner and the runner in question would have no doubt have given up on his pursuit and the youth continued unabated "there's someone running for the bus". He kept going until the driver asked him to stop. Now this person sounded like a complete tool, I think I can speak for the other 3 passengers at the time where this person should have just shut up. As he walked past me and took a seat I got to thinking, he despite being obviously mentally deficient must have had some idea of how stupid he looked and then it hit me.

He knew,

He just didn't care.

At that point I changed my opinion of this young man, it must have required an incredible amount of balls for him to stand up and do what he did. A display of bravery in the face of utter stupidity, it would have cost him nothing to simply sit down and shut up, but he didn't, he continued until his quest was complete and despite failure the valour of such an act continued to shine through.

As the old saying goes,

"The heroic can never be common nor the common heroic"

I would wish to award this man the "Victoria Spanner" the highest award that can be given for an act of retardedness. "Pro Virtus odio bardus" For Valour Despite Stupidity, this young man personifies those words and on some level I admire his bravery.

Title of previous post fixed

I will learn to proof read
I will learn to proof read
I will lern to prroff read
I will learn to prrof reed

Standard Nerds

I was getting my hair cut this weekend, when I noticed an unusual increase in the nerd population of the CBD, more unusual still, it was daylight. So an increase in the nerd population, in the middle of the day and not just among the comic-book-guy look alikes at the arcade across the road from liquorland, at least it used to be across the road from liquorland until they moved. I guess the clientele of the arcade were scaring away their custom. This to an ordinary person would seem suspicious if not down right frightening if they weren’t in possession of the knowledge that a video games conference called GO4 was currently in progress a short walk from the CBD.

Well nerds dressed like ordinary people were walking around carrying MSI promotional bags, probably containing a hat or T-shirt and some marketing material, I don’t know, I was not in possession of such a bag. As I was getting my hair cut, talking to the hair dresser as you do, the topic of the MSI promotional bag came up. “Who are MSI” she asked in idle conversation. Now despite being a hairdresser this girl was quiet astute and I would not use the term “mentally deficient” to describe her. So I replied “Micro Star International, they make motherboards”. The look on her face wasn’t quiet confusion, more of a confused surprise that I was able to respond rapidly to that question. I doubt she knew any more about MSI them when this conversation began but I assume, given the fact she knew what I do for a living that she was able to put two and two together.

Now remember, the first rule of geek club: nobody talks about geek club.

I quickly attempted to change the subject without making it too obvious as this conversation quickly heading towards vapidity. I then explained that there was a video game conference on at the convention centre and these bags were merely promotional material hoping to bring this conversation to a rapid and total conclusion. Then the worst possible scenario happened, she asked if I was planning to go. Now at some point in the past I was planning to go to GO4 but as the actual event came around I found that I couldn’t justify going, in fact I just couldn’t be arsed.

Second rule of geek club: if anyone is talking to a girl, geek club is over.

Rather than tell the truth about my intentions and later apathy towards aforementioned conference I lied. I said that I had been working since 6 am (it being 12:15 PM by that point) and that I was planning to do a bit of shopping. It was a lie but hey, it was either that or I have to find a new hairdresser next month.

Third rule of geek club: if its your first time at geek club….