Wednesday, 23 May 2007

It's evolution, baby

The Question, which came first, the Chicken or the Egg.

Darwinism and Evolution tell us that the Chicken in its modern form came about in tiny changes in reaction to the environment aro
und it. The Chicken evolved from a not-quiet chicken-like creature which in turn evolved from a not-quiet not-quiet chicken-like chicken-like creature which in turn evolved from a not-quiet not-quiet not-quiet chicken-like chicken-like chicken-like creature and so on and so forth until you have a creature which doesn't resemble anything like a chicken, in fact this would continue right until the first division of the first amoeba.

Life according to darwinist theories will exist anywhere where the necessary elements of light, heat and moisture are abundant. So the initial spark of life goes back to the tera-formation and initial formation of a planet. Even be
fore then there was the formation of our ever expanding universe in which the planet formed by a sufficiently sized mass collecting other smaller masses around it until all the mass in the gravity wells vicinity was a part of the planet. So the evolution essentially begins here at the formation of the planet.

Of course the universe is infinite and forever expanding, the planet which exists in its three spatial dimensions, the fourth perceivable dimension, time is expanding along all of these dimensions as well as 7 other dimensions described in string theory, more specifically M theory. To add to this the Alternate Dimensions theory that states there is, in parallel with our own infinite and ever expanding universe other infinite and ever expanding universes which continually are created as different possibilities are diverge into their alternate paths. This theory also states that these "parallel universes" exist in a multiverse which if this theory is correct could also indicate that several infinite and expanding multiverses could exist inside a mega-multiverse and in turn could belong to a uber-mega-multiverse continuing on this trend until infinity.

So this leads us inexplicably to Douglas Adams, who said,
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
Add this to the number of possible parallel universes in the multiverse, all the multiverses in the mega-multiverse and all the mega-multiverses in the uber-mega-multiverse so on and so forth until infinity. One would think that that trip down to the chemist got a lot shorter, perhaps even infinitely shorter.

So just to surmise

So, who is still thinking about the chicken?

On that subject I have some theories of my own,

First is that the chicken and the egg are not indeed the same species but are two closely related species that share a symbiotic/parasitic relationship. First the Chicken grows as a parasite inside the egg and then the eggs continue to use the chicken as a host to continue their species. Such a symbiosis could occur if both the chicken and the egg were offshoots of the same parent species, a creature which I call the Chegg. Laugh now but mark my words ladies and gentlemen, one day palaeontologists will unearth my Chegg and I will be vindicated.

The second theory is that the chicken is not native to this earth or indeed to this dimension. I theorise that the chicken is a pan-dimensional being which managed to send a small number of eggs through a rift in space/time to arrive here on the earth where the hatched chickens were able to make use to the local surroundings to multiply and are continually attempting to communicate but have thus far been unsuccessful due to the sheer number of differences between us and pan-dimensional beings. If this theory is correct (and I see no evidence to the contrary) it means people are eating a far superior life form, although for some people this can be said for almost anything they eat.

Some would say that evolution is just a theory, well I remind them that gravity is just a theory and say,
If I kick you in the butt, do you fly off the planet. good sir, just a theory indeed.

Tuesday, 22 May 2007

Re-introducing girt back into everyday useage

It is, my intent to re-introduce the word Girt back into the everyday use. I don’t see how a useful word such as girt managed to fall out of popular use, perhaps it was over used and people decided to stop, possibly it had some kind of stigmata attached to it like a serial killer called John C Girt who killed of 107 prostitutes in south London (or possibly south Freemantle) or maybe it just got pissed off with all the other words teasing it and decided to leave on its own. Either way it is a situation that I intend to rectify.

Girt as defined by as:

2. To enclose, surround, hem in.

Girt seems to have so many uses in everyday life, such as: “I’m on the freeway and I’m girt by traffic”, “I am girt by problems” or “why do you continue to girt me with the foulness of your presence”. The sheer number of uses for girt seems limitless. So to all those who are reading my blog (yes both of you) endeavour to use the word girt at least once each day.